Submission
QUESTIONS
When the bible uses the term “head” in Ephesians 5:23 it does not mean authority, it means source, like the source of a river. If headship were about authority Christ’s would be enough for every man woman and child equally. Instead, Christians somehow prefer to believe the oneness in Christ, and marriage, especially, is by mysterious necessity some two-headed monster. It doesn’t add up.
Some questions that must be answered to be intellectually honest and informed about complementarianism that I have yet to receive legitimate answers to are:
1. Why do women require male “authority” in addition to Christ’s?
2. What practical purpose does this serve?
3. Why do we require two heads?
4. Do we not have one of our own?
5. Why do men not require additional authority, especially not that of women?
6. Are they exempt simply by virtue of being male?
7. Why or why not?
There is to be no hierarchy in Christ or Christendom, in church or marriage. It’s all about oneness. Matthew 20:24-28 shows Christ’s heart regarding this. Submission is a Christian virtue as the man Christ himself was submissive; and submission ceases to be submission if it is mandated rather than volunteered without coercion.
Complementarians love to conveniently leave out verse 21 when speaking about Ephesians 5 (as well as the rest of the book). They wholly ignore that the majority of the Bible is written to believers without regard to or distinction of gender. Even the spiritual gifts, despite popular opinion, are non-gender specific. The fact is women are just as filled with the HS, and just as much a part of the priesthood of believers as men. Therefore, the only reasonable conclusion to come to is equality in every way.
I bought into complementarian theology for 33 years. It nearly killed me and destroyed my marriage. We are still married only because we recognized how destructive it was to us and the many couples we mentored as leaders in the church. We see everything (submission, love, respect, provision, protection) in terms of equality, reciprocity and mutuality, and never has our marriage been more effortlessly intimate (intimacy = in to me see). Nowhere ever in the Bible are Christians commanded to lead, not even husbands. (Anonymous)
RESPONSE
When the bible uses the term “head” in Ephesians 5:23 it does not mean authority, it means source, like the source of a river.
Wrong. Christ’s headship over every man most certainly is speaking of authority, even as the headship of man over woman is speaking of authority.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (I Corinthians 11:3)
All of that is speaking of authority, not merely “the headwaters from which things flow.” This authority is repeatedly affirmed elsewhere in the New Testament
“But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” (Ephesians 5:23-24).
If headship were about authority Christ’s would be enough for every man woman and child equally.
That is a false dichotomy. There can be ultimate headship as well as a hierarchy of authority underneath.
Instead, Christians somehow prefer to believe the oneness in Christ, and marriage *especially*, is by mysterious necessity some two-headed monster. It doesn’t add up.
Ultimate headship does not imply there’s no chain of command. Our army has a Commander in Chief but there are also generals, colonels, captains, and on down the line.
SB: Some questions that must be answered to be intellectually honest and informed about complementarianism that I have yet to receive legitimate answers to are: Why do women require male “authority” in addition to Christ’s?
Because the word of God says so. This simple answer is very difficult for many modern Christians to swallow. Why is blood required for the remission of sins? I do not understand all the spiritual mechanics of why that is a requirement. Nevertheless, I accept that it is so, because it is plainly declared in the word of God.
What practical purpose does this serve? Why do we require two heads? Do we not have one of our own?
One practical purpose is given by the apostle Paul:
“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” (I Timothy 2:11-14)
Paul’s purpose in placing women in subjection under the authority of men extends back to the fall and the women’s deception in the matter. In so doing he makes a categorical statement about the woman’s capacity for spiritual deception and the need for them to rather be in subjection to the teaching of men. That may be an unpopular notion in the age of modern feminism, but it is the teaching of the Christian faith without any doubt.
Why do men not require additional authority, especially not that of women?
They have Christ as their head. So, they do have additional authority. They are not merely a law unto themselves. Again, the bible plainly states it.
Are they exempt simply by virtue of being male?
They are exempt from being under the spiritual authority of women.
Why or why not?
Because that is explicitly prohibited in the New Testament, as previously stated.
SB: There is to be no hierarchy in Christ or Christendom, in church or marriage. It’s all about oneness.
Totally bogus. You must ignore the apostle Paul completely to arrive at that unbiblical conclusion. Never underestimate the power of one’s opinion in shaping their theology. It is often far more influential than the word of God.
Matthew 20:24-28 shows Christ’s heart regarding this. Submission is a Christian virtue as Christ himself, as a man, was submissive, and submission ceases to be submission if it is mandated rather than volunteered without coercion.
Let’s look at that passage:
“And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren. But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:24-28)
This passage is not speaking of marriage and the headship involved therein but of service within the body of Christ. That’s a good example of wrangling a text out of its context to support a bogus idea.
Complementarians love to conveniently leave out verse 21 when speaking about Ephesians 5, as well as the rest of the book.
Let’s have another look:
”Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” (Ephesians 5:21-23)
This is a plain statement about submission followed by specific admonitions as to how that submission should be played out across the assembly wherein Wives are told to submit to their husbands.
They wholly ignore that the majority of the Bible is written to believers without regard to or distinction of gender.
So, if many things are written without distinction of gender that proves that EVERYTHING is written without regard for distinction of gender. That is a proposition so ludicrous that it does not require any further commentary.
Even the spiritual gifts, despite popular opinion, are non-gender specific.
What about the gift of childbirth? What about the gift of submission to the husband? Is that one gender-specific. There are many gender specific items in the bible.
The fact is women are just as filled with the HS, and just as much a part of the priesthood of believers as men.
Which again does nothing to prove that women are not to be in subjection to their husbands.
Therefore, the only reasonable conclusion to come to is equality in every way.
I’ll grant you this much: Men and women are totally equal provided we ignore the manifold ways that the bible and common observation prove that they are not.
I bought into comp theology for 33 years. It nearly killed me and destroyed my marriage. We are still married only because we recognized how destructive it was to us and the many couples we mentored as leaders in the church.
Marital damage is never the result of properly practiced biblical complementarianism. Improperly practiced authoritarianism, on the other hand, is another matter entirely. There are bad teachers who commandeer this teaching and distort it in manifold ways. That causes a lot of damage.
We see everything (submission, love, respect, provision, protection) in terms of equality, reciprocity and mutuality, and never has our marriage been more effortlessly intimate (intimacy = in to me see).
That seems nice, but, more to the point, are you in submission to your husband? If you do not agree, who makes the call? Him or you? If it is Him, and the decision is not evidently sinful, then you are in biblical submission of wife under husband. If not, then what you are calling “equality” is just a more acceptable way of affirming that the husband is in subjection to the wife.
Nowhere ever in the Bible are Christians commanded to lead, not even husbands.
The bible affirms that men have the power to lead their wives:
“Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?” (I Corinthians 9:5)
What’s more the bible speaks of the apostles setting an example that others should follow – the very definition of leadership:
“For yourselves know how YE OUGHT TO FOLLOW US: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you: Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ENSAMPLE UNTO YOU TO FOLLOW US.” (II Thessalonians 3:7-9)
Every point you raise is wrong and easily refuted. It is a hot mess of logical fallacies and disregard for the plain teaching of scripture. I offer that in sincerity (James 5:19-20) I believe you do well to reconsider.
- Elder Daniel Samons